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See your Mother / See your daughter

Updated: Mar 3, 2020

Maybe you get the opportunity to briefly check in with your Mum as you chop the veggies for dinner or whack her on speaker phone as you do school pick up.

Perhaps you text on your lunch break during busy days at the office or just before you leave for your weekly class at the gym. Or maybe you and your mother don’t chat much at all these days as life has gotten too hectic or you’ve said some things to each other that have weakened your relationship.

Although mother-daughter relationships are often idealized in our minds, in reality, they are frequently complex and surprisingly complicated. They are also highly varied. There are cultural and generational differences in how mothers and daughters relate to one another as we get older. Every relationship between mum and daughter changes over time, but they also take many different forms.

We all know that there are mother-daughter relationships that can’t be repaired no matter what you do. Yet there are other relationships that may be strained but with the help of a few changes, can become healthy, positive connections between adult daughters and mothers.

Whatever the case, the relationship will benefit if you take time out to relax, explore and connect more deeply with each other.

After all, no relationship is as primal as that between mother and daughter.

Lee Sharkey, who teaches in the Faculty of Women’s and Gender Studies at the University of Maine Farmington in the United States, says as females grow our energy is largely focused on men but the original love relationship is with our mother.

“If we as daughters don’t acknowledge that, we’re closing ourselves off from a great source of power and fulfilment and understanding of ourselves,” she says.

Wellness expert Jo Surkitt, herself a mother to two young sons, created the Adult Mother Daughter Retreat, as she yearned for more dedicated time with her own Mum, Susan and wanted to help other busy daughters and their Mums nurture their relationship.

Jo counts herself lucky to enjoy a beautiful relationship with her Mum, especially since gaining a new found respect and understanding of her since having her own children.

Jo and Susan have travelled the world together and supported each other through significant challenges, including losing Jo’s Dad to cancer 14 years ago, illness and heartache.

“But with young children I sometimes find it difficult to get that quality time together, rushing from activities, staccato conversations, never finishing a sentence or hearing a complete conversation,” she said.

“I felt I needed some precious time with Mum where we talk about family history, our highs, lows, our passions and our childhoods.”

Jo says the mother daughter retreat to be held at Torquay on Victoria’s Surf Coast is designed to help adult daughters and their Mums understand themselves so they can connect in a more authentic and loving way and maintain an improved relationship in the long term.

It can benefit daughters and mothers who would like to be closer, or even in cases where they don’t talk much anymore due to circumstances.

Jo believes these types of retreats are transformational.

“By spending time together, setting aside old habits that may not fit anymore, you will explore, discover and learn a huge amount about yourself and your loved one which will allow for profound and positive changes for both of you,” Jo says.

This unique retreat will be held in Torquay on Friday 1st May to Sunday 3rd May contact Jo on 0417 549 218 or

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